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More like jokes rather than words of wisdom; after all, when you have sex you think about the Big F**k, not about the Big Bang. Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is. Barbara Bush According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. Robert De Niro It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it. Winston Churchill My wife and I practice "Doggy Style:" I beg, she rolls over. Steve Rice There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it. W.C. Fields Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships. Sharon Stone When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself. Emo Philips My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. Woody Allen Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. Woody Allen My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading. Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Computers Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, you probably won't either. Anonymous An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex. Edgar Wallace Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any. Anonymous Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts. Jeff Foxworthy There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief amongst these is the Mercedes-Benz convertible. PJ O'Rourke I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though. Elton John My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex, she objects. Les Dawson I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. Woody Allen When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. Matt Groening Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. George Burns See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. Robin Williams Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. Oscar Wilde What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home. Ken Hammond Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy. Steve Martin I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. Rodney Dangerfield Men are like coffee, If their good, they're rich... warm and keep you up all night. Anonymous What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them? Marilyn Pittman Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. Billy Crystal Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Anonymous The differance between a slut and a whore? A whore will sleep with anyone... A slut will sleep with anyone but you. Stephen Lee Dekat A human being is the best computer available to place in a spacecraft. It is also the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor. Werner Von Braun You only have to mumble a few words in church to be married, and a few in your sleep to get a divorce. Anonymous But you know what life really is? You're born, you suck your mother's tits. You get a little older, you suck your girlfrineds tits. You get a little older you suck your wife's tits. That's what life is. Life sucks. John Ryman If you think sex is a pain in the ass, try a differant position. Anonymous Why are women... so much more interesting to men than men are to women? Virginia Wolf Life is a sexually transmitted disease, and it's 100% fatal. Anonymous The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals, and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. It's not that God Doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision. Lynn Lavner Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity. Anonymous Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes? Anonymous Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love. Woody Allen Don't worry. I forgot your name, too! Anonymous I admit, I have a bit of penis envy. They're ridiculous, but they're cool! K.D. Lang A woman's favorite position is CEO. Anonymous Don't make love by the garden gate, cause love is blind but the neighbors aint. Margaret Harris Virginity - You use it, you loose it. Anonymous On average, everybody has one testical. Anonymous It isn't premarital sex if you don't get married. Michael Juster A mistress comes between a mister and his mattress Anonymous Life's a bitch. A good life is a lot of bitches! Steven B. Milum wife VS. work - After 10 years work still sucks. Anonymous Women are lucky, they can get pussy when ever they want. Anonymous God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Anonymous Sex is only the business of the pile of people involved. Anonymous Every Harlot was a Virgin once. William Blake Designed by Gabriel Ditu ©Copyright 2008 |
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